Blog post by A Participant in the Heartwood Survivor Program
We are only one of multiple ongoing survivor groups, including BIPOC survivors, created by Heartwood, an alternative medicine healing center outside Chicago in the United States. All of us are survivors of Buddhist Teacher Abuse. Our group has been meeting monthly on Zoom for over two years, and in sunny late September 2023 we “meeted and greeted” in the light of Heartwood, just outside Chicago.
We arrived from every corner of the country. “You’re taller than I thought”, “It feels so good to give you a hug”, “This is surreal to meet you in 3D!”. Many can imagine post pandemic in-person happiness but let’s place this moment in context. For over twenty-four months, online we had heard each other’s deepest hurts, shared experiences born of despair and strength. We had learned the magnitude of risk for abuse across many traditions: Tibetan, Theravada, and Zen. We had creatively designed our healing through friendship, forming Guiding Principles and a space to Listen with Care. We had shared resources and courage as we showed up month after month.
Amazing to be able to do this face to face, body to body! Heartwood Center in Evanston, Illinois. Have you ever been here? A gem cared for by Nancy Floy and Larry Akey. Thriving with healing practitioners dedicated to serving survivors. It was like being welcomed home with open arms. Most of us made it. Those few who couldn’t join us because of Covid or work were able to participate from afar, from the chair we designated to hold their space in our circle.
Though we weren’t in our Zoom boxes, we used the same online structure of Guiding Principles and Listening with Care to ensure our gathering felt familiar and provided enough “holding and safety” for each person. Doing this daily furthered our togetherness; togetherness that transformed into a final healing circle, proposed by one of our survivors, where we could become the sangha who heard and witnessed and believed each other’s experiences. For while every survivor suffered from some form of Buddhist Teacher Abuse, it was the loss of friends and sangha that exponentiated the hurt.
In between sessions, we were invited to treatments with Heartwood therapists. Connecting the mind and body is fundamental healing for survivors. Mental health therapy, Reiki, Shaman Healing, Massage and Acupuncture were all on the menu. During our “down time”, another essential of survivor healing, we attempted swimming in Lake Michigan together (no way for most of us – 60 degree cold water!), shopped at the Farmers Market and cooked a Farm-to-Table dinner, made smores and sat around a fire together. All of these activities were well needed breaks from the emotional intensity of deep listening and sharing.
Meeting together left us with a glow. Promises to meet again next year. Hopes that other survivors will be able to join our community. Heartwood is the only place listed on the internet to bring us together. Nancy and Larry embody this calling and healing. Our Advisory Board and allies are on the front line offering their legal expertise, academic contributions, and hard- earned knowledge to make this possible.
Some might say that we are walking miracles. We would agree.
* Heartwood Center for Body Mind Spirit is a U.S. non-profit that is run on donations, which are greatly appreciated and can be made here.
Heartwood’s board of advisors is comprised of Willa Blythe Baker, Damcho Diana Finnegan, Ann Gleig, Amy Langenberg, Carol Merchasin and Linda Modaro.
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